Three things I have learned about my self today:
1. My weight won't shift at all unless I puke, or eat around 200-700.
2. My body maintains at any amount from 700 to about 1100, or if I eat nothing but protein.
3. As much as I want to stop, the desperation I feel while binging always overrides any desires to be 'better.'
So yes, to say these realizations suck is a bit of an understatement. I tried for days, honest I did. But I piled on over half a stone in less than a week, and it wouldn't budge until I snapped today.
I did really well, controlling myself yesterday [I didn't eat a scrap of bread or anything of the sort]. My stomach stopped bloating, and I didn't feel panicky at all [seems I only get bloated and paranoid when carbs/bread is involved...].
But I also didn't lose even a fraction of a pound. Insert a bad mood mixed with a lack of protein in the house, and you get a binge on really big pancakes, cereal, Fiber One PopTart Ripoffs, some snack packs, and other crap I can't remember right now...
...oh, and another 'snack' consisting of 5 eggs over-easy [which really isn't all that bad tasting], half a pot of rice, granola and milk, 5 pieces of bread, and [yet again] more things I can't recall.
...Oh, and more rice, although I kept this in [maybe a bad choice on my part...].
I kid you not. I ate all that, yet the numbers went down after each purge. It gets really hard to quit when you see that. I just don't know what to do anymore.
