Taking in food.

Over-eating is truly my problem.
It's been this way for about...10 years now?
Each and every time I think about what 'caused it,' I can never come up with a satisfactory answer. I've had a fairly average childhood.

I mean sure, I was neglected by my mother for a while. Yes, I was even teased/insulted by what felt like every person that crossed my path. And yes, that can tend to cause trouble for many people. But I've yet to see anyone who feels that as a result of teasing/neglect, they need to inhale 3,000+ calories for years then slowly acquire methods to forcibly remove at least *some* of it from either end.

I can't even remember why I thought laxatives were a good idea. Don't even get me started on purging.

I haven't ever been molested/raped [although I worry about it so much, I've grown more afraid of people by the day--my own family can't even touch me], I don't have a family that really inforces the want to 'be thin' [although I do have one that enjoys keeping lots of food/laxatives around, even with my history of laxative abuse]...I don't really feel there's a good enough 'reason' as to why I do this to myself [then again, there's no such thing as a 'good enough reason' to fast, binge, and purge on a virtually daily basis].


I really don't understand. And if I don't know why I do it, how can I be expected to STOP?
...I guess this will just be my life from now on.